Journey with My Passion – Part 3: Adjusting to Transition

It was 4:00 in the afternoon on Tuesday.  My stomach was churning.  My head was fuzzy and woozy.  I had just walked into the studio after leaving work on my new part-time schedule.  Maybe I was getting ill.  Oh, such bad timing. There are so many pots to be thrown.

Storm a brewing in PA

Storm a brewing in PA

Indeed, the first pot was horrible.  I couldn’t focus.  I eventually found my groove and I felt better by the time I left 6  hours later.

As Friday drew near — my new day off — the feeling arose again.  My stomach was churning.  I was having difficulty focusing.  Everything was a distraction.  Would my work world survive without me working Fridays?  Would they realize they could?  Could I make all the pieces I needed to make to fulfill my commissions in time?  How was I going to get ready for all these holiday sales?  How would I fit exercise into my life with all of these commitments? Would I ever get enough sleep? And on and on.

So this is what if feels like to experience a profound shift in life focus. Ill.

As my journey to follow my passion continues, I am amazed at the range of unexpected feelings.  One moment I am uber-confident and ready to charge forward with my pots.  The next I am a queasy mess full of doubt.  As much as I would like to wax poetic and get all philosophical about this here, I think it is just best to observe.  I suspect it is too early to draw conclusions.  Even if I did, I would see in a month or two that today’s conclusions were narrow and short-sighted. No, this emotional and spiritual journey will take time to ripen.  In the meantime, I continue to make pots and move into my new studio space.  And of course, I continue to observe — without judgment — the feelings that arise as I move my energy from left to right brain.


About Claytastic

Health coach. Writer. Teacher. Artist. Living an amazing life with MS. Interested in bringing peace and beauty into people's lives.
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2 Responses to Journey with My Passion – Part 3: Adjusting to Transition

  1. StoneTosser says:

    Good insights. You may well continue to feel ill and it may move through you in different ways. Being conscious of it will help. Learning to recognize it and let it go is just as important. In 8 years of wrestling fear, I have learned a number of tricks (feed me wine and i’ll tell you!), but that doesn’t stop the anxiety from manifesting in new ways. But it does get better with practice. Congratulations for having begun the practice!

  2. Pingback: Journey with My Passion – Part 4: My Worlds Collide « Claytastic, pottery by Laurie Erdman

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